i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
