if i can run in heels then i can drive
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
