They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You can't just leave with hair like that
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
