I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
