I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
