He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize