so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Pants are for mortals
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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