I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
