We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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