If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
