tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
