you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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