I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Let's get the cat blown out
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
