you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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