He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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