we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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