theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
