I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize
