i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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