Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you didnt know i had herpes?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
