when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
