it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
