Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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