don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize