you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize