In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
