Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
