he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I have aggressive nipples.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
