If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
