so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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