i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
