Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
