youre lurking in front of me
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
