it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
