Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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