This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize