yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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