You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I came so hard my ears popped.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
