so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize