I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
