I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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