He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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