I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize