I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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