I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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