Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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