I smell stomach acid.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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