i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize