from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
