She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
