What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
