hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
