She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
