No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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