Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
