As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
