Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she told me i tasted like america
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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