people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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