At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
And then he peed in my hair
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